theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Randomize
