508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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