it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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