i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
