plz talk dirty to me
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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