Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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