i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize