Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
