hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
