it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
