Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
