I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
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