My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
