If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Randomize
