season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize
