You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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