Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
