the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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