Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
