I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Acid is not a monday night drug
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
It's just like the Real World with babies
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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