that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
