Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
