We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Randomize
