i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
