fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
oh god the rape fog is back!
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Randomize
