go do what you do best...puke behind churches
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Randomize
