Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Randomize
