dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
