You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
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