i would punch a child for taco bell
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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