how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
