I'm drive I can fine osifer
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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