he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
We just shotgunned beers for America
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
