we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
