I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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