Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
