you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
