it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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