I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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