dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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