I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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