your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
