after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
