Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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