Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
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