thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
