you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
