I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
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