What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
