how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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