When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
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