her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
