you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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