so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
