I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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